Loving every part of who we are

Loving every part of who we are

How difficult to see ourselves with kind eyes, the parts that we don’t like so much……and especially the parts that we so dislike that we have shoved into our unconscious and project onto others. Those parts need our love as well, they need our compassion, for only from that place, can compassion for others arise. We can not be asked to forgive others, to have compassion for them, if we have not done it for ourselves first. If we have not had that moment of truth with ourselves, where we call everything by its name without judgement and we embrace all of it, just because it IS.

Family Constellation work is so healing because it softens our stories, and invites us to a much greater view. It allows us to see what’s behind them to gain new understanding. We see that we all have the potential to be victims or perpetrators at different points in our life. In a Constellation we see that two opposites can be held at the same time. We see that stories are much more “gray” than “black” and “white”. We see that those labels are comfortable but they ultimately don’t bring us peace or allow us to leave our painful stories behind.

Labeling something/someone as “good” or “bad”, feels comfortable and we are all drawn to that, it feels safe. Seeing the world that way allows us to be part of a “team” of likeminded people, and makes us feel like we are “good” and even “moral”. Who would not be drawn to that? But not judging, being open to a larger truth, a bigger story, is not going to make anyone more popular. Not judging is going to risk our sense of “belonging” to any particular group because we are holding space for “all of it” and that does not guarantee us a jersey for either of the teams.

However that is what Family Constellations invites us to do, include everything and include everyone. It invites us to behold a much larger picture, requires us to leave the comfortable place of our “higher ground” and be open to a new conception of “truth”. Having this desire, this humility to see something bigger than our own “reality” is what brings healing into our lives. When we stop thinking events are one-dimensional, and are open to gain a greater undesrstanding. When we are finally able to say yes to everyone and everything just the way that it is/ was. Only from that place of greater understanding, are we free to live our own lives, no longer guarded. From that peaceful place of non-judgement, we will make decisions which will be our own, for our greatest good, and we will be free to live our own lives and destinies.